SEPTEMBER na. aGOSTO pa din pa kita. :D

THE END.

Atleast we ended it with a prayer.


Mahirap nga naman mag-let go. Pero with the right reason and with the right timing for us, natanggap naman namin ng maluwag. Gusto lang muna namin magmature at lumago sa Lord. Siya muna bago ang aming mga sarili. Atleast, hindi kami selfish or possessive dba ?


And focus muna sa buhay namin. Saka na ang lovelife. Everything is beautiful in His time. Isang gabing puno ng iyakan & yakapan. May kiss pro hindi naman yung grabe. Naging dependent na kami sa bawat isa kaya hindi nadn nagiging maganda. Nagiging masikip na. So we decided to part ways. Para naman sa ikakabuti namin yun eh.


Mahirap. Kahit sino naman hindi madaling magpakawala ng taong sobrang minahal na dba ? Di lang siguro ngayon ang panahon. So we stopped it. Bago pa man lumala. Wala akong masabi. Sobrang mahal ko siya pero kung hahayaan ko na lang siyang maging down at tuluyan mawala kay Lord ? Anong klaseng pagmamahal yun dba ?


So kahit MASAKIT, kaya yan. Para kay Lord eh. Maglilingkod muna kami. Ika nga, Let His will be done. First time ko din umiyak sa isang babaeng mahal ko. HAHHA. Ako na korni. Eh, di ako iyakin eh. I try to cry kapag ako nalang mag-isa. Pero sa sobrang bigat. HIndi ko kinaya. Napaluhod na din ako. Like I'm pleading. Sabi ko nga, parehas lang sila ni Mama, pinapaiyak ako. I try to laugh & smile at times pero sobrang sakit lang. Napayakap pa ako kay Lola pauwi. Siempre, takang taka siya. Sabi ko lang wala lang, may sipon lang ako.


Yeah it hurts. But the best part about it ? Is we did what we know is right. 


Pero bago nun, jamming muna kasama si Dicky, Edwatrd, Dess & Ynnep sa bahay nila Micah. Nun pauwi na saka ko sila pinauna (kahit nun una ayaw ko kasi hindi naman ako magaling sa pagpapaliwanag). Then madaming nangyari. The bottom line ? I think we'll be doing better. I saved our last texts for this night.


M: Sumasakit ung ulo ko =( Wala lang salamat sa lahat ng bagay. At mahal na mahal kita. Last na muna to na sasabihan kita nyan .. Sa tamang panahon na ng Lord ung susunod =) Kaya lulubusin ko na muna ha ? Mahal na mahal kasi talaga kita e. Mahal na mahal na mahal. Pero dapat nga naman mas mahal natin si Lord. Kaya. Ayun. tulog na.


A: Sige sa iyo na itong last kong2. Asahan ka namin ni Lord. Hindi kasi kita mahal kung hahayaan lang kita mawala sa Kanya. Last na din ito for now. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW. Salaamat sa lahat & Sorry. Si Lord na muna. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Matulog na. Goodnight. I LOVE YOU ULI> Tandaan mo yan ah. ;)


(nabura niya ito kasi naghang yung phone niya pero isesend ko na lang bukas. Yun lang yung napag-usapan namin until .. )


A: Okay po. Goodnight. For the last time: I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH. I LOVE YOU.


M: Okay. Magpahinga ka na ! And for the .. ayokong sabihin na last .. OO hindi muna ngayon pero sa future. Kapag inallow ni Lord. Basta. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA. I LOVE YOU SOOO. Tandaan mo yan ah. Ikaw lang. Di ka mawawala sa akin.




Mejo possessive pa rin siya sa huli. Pero I believe sa proper timing na ni Lord. There is a time for everything sabi nga sa Bible.

Eto lang yung nangyari today. Kabilang na yung nagtithes & offering exhorter ako. Nagturo sa mga bata. And mejo nadisappoint kasama ng isang kaibigan. Pero all is well.



Salamat Lord. Praise God pa rin ! 

A Man in Love.

We boys don’t get butterflies, we get fireworks. We don’t have you on our mind 24/7, but we do have you on our hearts. Often, yes we wait for you to go online, sometimes simply even just being online makes our heart skip a beat, even if we don’t talk. Whenever you talk to us, our face forms that half-smile; it means we are happy but are trying our hardest to not show it, and fail at hiding it. We do miss you all the time; granted, we’d spend all our time with you if possible. We don’t think of the smallest things you say, we think of every word you say, panicking at every single word, trying to define what it really means, to read between the lines. But wait there’s more.

We would love you in a million ways. And once we start loving you there is no going back for us. No matter how hard we try we will always love a girl that has touched us. Us boys when in love will think of that girl first thing in the morning, and think of that girl last before we sleep at night. Whenever we see a couple, our thoughts immediately jump to that girl, and imagine that the couple was us. Every single detail about her is loved; the way she walks, talks, speaks. The sound of her voice. Her laughter. The sparkle in her eyes. Her shy smile. The way she dresses. That cute face she makes when she’s asleep. And the way she says our name that our hearts just explode with mirth, a simple act that no-one else can replicate.

A boy in love with a girl is no simple thing, though ladies stereotype us guys as simple. A man in love is not simple. No. He will be unpredictable. He will be persistent, stubborn, and given the circumstances, if it means carrying you from one side of the world to the other to win your heart, a man in love would. He will be a martyr, giving his all and asking for almost none. He will show you how to appreciate the beauty of the world in a thousand ways, and then he will tell you how much he appreciates your beauty in a million ways.

A man in love is no simple thing.

Dear Current Girlfriend,

  — There isn’t anything about you that I don’t love. 

Goodnight.

 Inaantok din naman ako.

 Tapos na lahat. Nakapaglike and reblog na ako. Nakapagchat na. Nakapagupdate na ng status. Isang araw na naman ang lumipas.

 Masaya naman. Kasi nakadalo sa birthday ni Ate Vivian Joy na tunay na pagpapala sa buhay ko. Masaya talaga pag kasama siya. Happy Birthday muli, Ate. & Godbless you more. Nakapag-uwi pa ako ng pancit. HAHAHAH. Mga taong tunay na pagpapala kaya lalo silang pinagpapala.

 Okay na kasi nakapagusap na kami ni Sampot. Wow, made me smile kasi medyo depressed din ako. Imba talaga pag may nakausap kang close mo super and they just made you light in anyway. LIGHT talaga. Out na nga siya e. Pero napaOkay niya ako ng sobra. NAPASMILE mo akong tunay, SERYOSO. Sometimes all we need is someone to talk to.

 Birthday ni Micah. Depressed parin. Kasi walang regalo. Kasi may away kami at hirap nga naman nun. TRUST ang problema. Too complicated. So, this makes my night blue. Ugh. Anyway, I know na maayos din ito. I know. PLEASE. Tell me everything has its solution. Please.

 And I just came home from (yeah, you know) a party and a bible study. I would want to post my exhortation here. I’m really loving this blog hobby. Makes me free whenever I express something deep inside. And Whoa ! Just whoa ! Maaga pa ako mamaya kasi aattend ako ng training for leaders. Kaya yan, kapag may gusto may paraan. Kapag ayaw, baka tinatamad ka lang.

 Umuulan na naman. Nakakadepress na nakakarelax. Tipong nakikidalamhati na din ang nature. And I’m letting those raindrops wash away everything. And letting myself the coldness. Just for this time, I can feel the coldness from the outside. Not from within.

 3:30 am na. Puyat na naman ako. Nagpapatangkad pa man din ako. Pimples are now visible. Ugh. Andami ko na naman sinabi. Eh, ganito talaga ako e. Lonely people are always up in the middle of the night, ika nga ni Krauss.

OKAY na ako so FAR. Wishin’ maging okay lalo bukas. & Prayin’. Goodnight.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEH.

I just can’t resist.

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEH. Wala na naman akong masabi eh. Wish ko for you, is AKO. HAHAHA. Pero seryoso, sana AKO. Pero kung hindi man, better sa akin. I wouldn’t want something na hindi mo ikaliligaya. Lahat ng BEST sa iyo. May God bless you & your family more. May God grant the desires of your heart. May you serve God more. May alitan man tayo ngayon, may we find better ways to solve it. Ayoko ng ganito tayo. I just can’t. So ayun. ayoko maging masyadong melodramatic itong post na ito. And madelay man ang gift ko .. Sorry na. sorry nadin sa lahat. May you endure everything. Continue to be a blessing as you are to others. Wala na akong masabi eh. Best wishes. Nandito lang ako. ALWAYS & FOREVER. Namiss lang kita kasi umuulan na naman. Yun yung lagi mong tatandaan. So, Happy Birthday uli. 18 ka na. Dapat Eigtheendihin mo na lahat ng bagay na dapat mong iprioritize a. I’m always here. Oo, paulit-ulit na ako. Kasi WORDS can’t express & explain how much you mean to me. Seriously. I’m more than blessed to have you. :’)

Bottom line: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Yun lang. I LOVE YOU. <3

Pwede bang alagaan mo ang sarili mo ? Wala man ako sa tabi mo pero nais kong malaman mo na nag-aalala din naman ako.

— PLease naman.

Friends ?

   GPOY.

Dear Future Wife,

Dear Future Wife,

I don’t know where you are right now. I don’t know how you look like. I don’t know how you laugh, or how you even cry. You’re probably with someone else right now. Or you might be alone just like me. I don’t know when our paths will cross. I don’t know when we can walk on the beach together, then watch stars at night after and wait for a shooting star (and wish for forever if we see one, btw I’ve never seen a shooting star yet). We’ll sleep under the moonlight. We’ll watch the sunrise. I’ll cook breakfast for you. If we have kids, we’ll still do these things with them. We’ll go to church as a family, have a picnic after. I’ll teach them how to fly kites. You’ll teach them how to sing, or dance, or draw.

The list can go on forever. But I don’t know when these will happen. I’ll wait anyway. For now, all I can do is wait for you. And I’ll wait patiently for you. I know you’ll be worth the wait.

Love,

Your Future Husband

Date who ?

“Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Never ie to her. But if she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Never fail her. But because a girl who reads, she knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

—	Rosemary Urquico

*as revised by me.